see her smile but she’s not right
slept in bars, Child of Night,
angry, guard of her tiny heart,
postnatal problems from the start
of who she is, where she’s at,
bottle propped, left where she sat.
Born of Trouble………………………….
Dropped and slipped into the crack
a baby watching her own back
scratch herself, she pulls her hair
baby toys thrown in the air
barbies crunched into the rug
push away, no kiss, no hug,
slamming doors, raging ways,
crying nights, sleeping days.
Patty cake patty cake baker’s man
she hung her doll from the ceiling fan,
from the ceiling fan, her favorite doll
dangle, dangle above her bed
around its’ neck, a belt cinched tight.
with a butcher knife,
she took it’s life
the blade clean through it’s head.
scrawled on the wall,
“I hate you all,
wish you were dead!”
Prom night driving in the neighborhood
see girls in beautiful dresses pastels lavender fluff
and all that stuff corsages parents taking pictures
smile click dreams smile click dreams
boys crisp and fresh and smelling good
my dream for her it
made me cry
she’s on the fly
tell me why why why it made me cry.
Grown to woman
now a mother
sometimes I just
turn the other
way so I don’t see what I can’t see
protect my heart change the channel
I can’t see what’s going on
no baby daddy to rely upon
no one loves the Baby K
she is mine on weekend stays
who sees the little atrocities,
drops me to my praying knees,
talk and reason do no good
she loves all the cowboys in the neighborhood.
Boyfriends come and boyfriends go
get the remote
he grabbed her throat
and threw her at the wall it off,
change the channel,
take remote control or
burn your grieving soul
the video plays beneath my lids at night
I try to stop it with all my might
keep my distance don’t get too close
it rots my brain it’s so insane
she’s so lazy acting crazy
can’t feed a baby that way
how will she survive
and keep a baby alive?
I’m scared sometimes of what I see
how she lives with her sweet baby
its hard to look the other way
and so I pray
every night and every day
what can I do what can I say
to make it be some other way?